Let Go

I was fired from my job on Saturday July 20th 2013, roughly around 4:30pm. I was fired because I wasn't meeting my numbers. In the company of Dillard's every associate has a personal sales goal and when they fail to meet that goal, the reasons don't matter, Dillard's will first decrease the associate pay and if that doesn't inspire them to become more aggressive/work harder then termination is the next step.

This was my first 'real' and serious job after being in school pretty much all my life. I knew it wouldn't last forever, I knew that eventually I'd move on and do something else.....but I had set a goal. To last one full year there, one year and if I managed to make it there longer than that would be good too. I was hired August 8th, 2012 and if they had just waited a few more weeks I would have made it.

Since it happened I can't seem to sleep, or at least not restfully. Even though the job wasn't perfect and there were policies that I really disagreed with and ways the company did business that made me so angry, I still took a lot of pride in my work. I learned so much about myself, my skills and talents and in general who I am as a young professional. So, I can't begrudge Dillard's for that.

However, I can dislike them for the way the treat their employees. And I do. I think it's wrong and backwards.

I was so fortunate to have a boss/manager that I really clicked with. He and I will hopefully remain friends for a very long time. And some of my co-workers I really got on with too. I miss that aspect of it. The social interactions and the making people happy. I made friends with some of the customers and I made quite a few of them laugh too. I helped to create an environment that even I'd want to go shopping in.

So, this is my way of coming to terms with what happened and allowing myself to not feel guilty that I didn't meet my goal or embarrassed that I was fired. I'll get another job, and probably another and another after that. I might have ten million different jobs by the time my life is over but what matters is...that's okay. Because change isn't bad and this was a change that needed to happen. Even if I wasn't emotionally ready for it, it was time.

I'm going to make it through this, because that's what I do. I get by.