I'm a horrible daughter

As the title suggests I'm a shitty daughter sometimes.
Today is the birthday of a very important person in my life: my father. And because I suck....I forgot it was his birthday. I feel really bad about this so allow me to apologize:

I'm so sorry pops, you always remember my important day and it's totally unfair of me to forget yours. I'm sorry.

Je t'aime pops, I'm sorry I forgot your special day........I will make it up to you!

xoxo's
your sometimes shitty leader

Benedict Cumberbatch...........funny name, gorgeous creature....

This is most beautiful man in the world----->

he plays "Sherlock" in the new and improved BBC version and I think he's sex on legs.....and that's funny because I don't even swing that way!

I don't know what it is about him but I think he's divine. Maybe it's the posh richness of his baritone British accent, or perhaps it's his height ( he's insanely tall) or maybe it's the almond eyes that aren't blue or grey or green but a combo of all three...it might be the combo of pale, pale skin with that shock of dark curly hair.......whatever it is.......Benedict Cumberbatch is so pretty it makes even totally gay girls like me drool just a little. Would I shag him....no, I'm queer to the core, but I still can admire a beauty regardless of their sex/gender.

If you don't watch the BBC's "Sherlock" then go watch it and then you'll understand.

RIP Reid Oliver

         Allow me to preface this article by saying that I am not an avid soap opera watcher. I don’t have the time, I don’t own a television, and I find the melodramatic storylines ridiculous and absurd. Now with that said, I have a confession to make. I have become embarrassingly attached to one soap opera in particular: As The World Turns on CBS. In my defense I never watched the show until just recently when something rather ground breaking happened: two gay characters were added and thus As The World Turns became famous for having the first gay teen couple in soap opera history.  I know it doesn’t sound all that impressive, I mean who cares, right? So they have a gay teen couple, big deal, only, it is when considering the gay population of the world feels really excluded from the general media.  Speaking as a member of that excluded community, I can tell you I felt intrigued and very curious with the direction these characters would take.

So I watched whenever I could, and I have to admit I was disappointed with what the writers did. The two characters, Luke Snyder and Noah Mayer, went through hell, and a lot of the dysfunction and obstacles they faced always had something to do with their sexual orientation. I understand the point behind soap opera’s, they’re supposed to be insanely melodramatic and ridiculously suspenseful, but at the same time I felt a twinge of aggravation at the fact that boys’ screen kisses usually ended up being interrupted or were cut so short as the camera would faze out or would cut away just as they were about to kiss so that their actual lip lock time was extremely limited in comparison to that of the straight characters. Everyone knows that part of a romantic relationship revolves sex; well perhaps someone should inform the writers on CBS, because Luke and Noah had virtually no sex life. They cuddled, snuggled, shared gentle caresses and gazed loving at each other, but as for sex, there almost none. There was only one time when it was implied that they had slept together, the camera focused in on a bed with rumpled sheets and then zoomed out to show the boys leaving the bathroom together with wet hair and towels. Perhaps I should have been grateful for at least that much, but when I realized that the straight couples were constantly bed hoping and in heated lip locks, I was upset.  

After a while, I grew bored with the characters and the constant drama that they went through. There came a point when the chemistry went dry and so for a while, I stopped watching. One day over this past summer, I was bored and thought maybe I check back in and that’s when I was confronted with a pleasant surprise: a new character had been added and after hearing some of his dialogue I was thoroughly intrigued. Reid Oliver was snarky, clever, somewhat rude, confident, a successful neurosurgeon, attractive and gay. Unlike almost all of the other characters on the show, he wasn’t related to anyone, he wasn’t anybodies long lost son or brother or a dirty secret from someone’s past…he was entirely unique. I think the part I liked best about him was that he made fun of how everything was so dramatic on show while he was in character. I admired him for being unapologetic for who he was and for his clever sarcastic humor and for not fitting a stereotype. He was basically the gay version of Dr. House and he gave the show some serious spice.

  Reid Oliver became Luke Snyder’s new love interest as Luke and Noah had recently broken up, yet again, and the sparks between them were intense. Both characters played off of each other perfectly; the sexual energy between them was intoxicating and when they finally kissed for the first I was delighted. I soon found out that As the World Turns was going off the air this fall after a 54 years and I knew that writers were trying to wrap up the show and all its many tangled story lines as quickly as possible.   

So, in a span of a few weeks three dramatic things happen: Reid Oliver was in competition with another character for a position as the medical chief of staff at the hospital on the show, his rival finds out he has a serious heart condition that he chooses to ignore and Luke realizes he’s fallen in love with Reid. While drama ensues I started paying attention to the physical interactions between Luke and Reid and I realized that they were almost identical to that of Luke and Noah, that is to say their kisses and all other sensual and flirty dialogue and body language was cut to a minimum.

             To be blunt, the ending sucked. Reid’s competition is landed in the hospital has his heart condition goes worse and then it turns out he needs a new heart. Reid decides he’s going to get a new heart for him, confesses to Luke that he loves him, gets in his car and ends up stalling on railroad tracks with a speed training heading right for him. Of course, Reid then is in critical condition and just before he goes brain dead he and Luke have an incredibly sad farewell and one last kiss and then Reid signs over his heart to his rival. A lot of people have asked why I’m so upset with this ending, they see it as a beautiful thing that Reid would do something so compassionate as to give over his own heart to someone in need…..and it is, but what frustrates me is the relationship mirrors that of Luke and Noah which was so restrained and tightly controlled compared to the heterosexual romances on the show. Luke and Reid never got to have sex, their kisses were limited and constantly being interrupted and just after Reid and Luke both acknowledged their love and respect for each other…Reid dies. On the final show, every heterosexual character was in partnership with someone, but Luke was alone and mourning, and as lame as this sounds, I actually cried.

            I know soap opera’s are what they are for a reason: because if real life were like a soap opera then we’d all be insane. They’re fun and trashy to watch, a guilty pleasure of many and a way to escape reality. I get that, that’s one of the reasons I got hooked myself. I was just hoping that the writers would perhaps be more evolved in their views of what it means to be gay and living in a world where virtually everything seems to be against us. The media is full of subtle and not subtle ideals of what kind of ending gay people have verses everyone else, we don’t seem to get happy endings very often. I guess in my naivety I thought that this soap opera would be bold enough to help change that…..I was wrong. I wrote this for two reasons: I wanted to give my perspective on what happened to this wonderful and very dynamic character. In my opinion, killing Reid off was a cowardly and lame thing to do, which brings me to my second reason. I wanted to say goodbye to him, lame and weird sounding perhaps, but having him die felt like losing someone I was close to. It hurt. I was attracted and attached to what he represented to me: a strong outspoken gay man who never apologized for who he was.  That to me is worthy of admiration and remembrance. So, even if you don’t know who Reid Oliver is, or have never seen As the World Turns, I hope you will recognize what he represents: another brave, outspoken and fearless gay person to be cut down by a homophobic society. Rest in Peace Reid, I won’t forget you.     

                                                       

Meet Oakdale's sexiest and snarkest doctor: Reid Oliver.....my hero!

I've seen the face of evil, it goes by the name of biology

Biology for me is like study a dead language with no tools for translating.
Biology is like a combo of the world's worst migraine, pulling all my teeth out (by myself) and having the worst menstrual cramps all wrapped in one painful  experience.

I have a test tomorrow that I feel utterly doomed for. I'm an A-B student but this class makes me feel like an utter failure and an idiot to boot. Fuck Biology........seriously...fuck it.


cheers,
your leader

storm cloud

One of my other nicknames, besides "Bennie", are "storm cloud" and "Wednesdays Addams". My co-workers having loving called me these names on many occasions, for the simple reason that I have a dark sense of humor and I'm snarky.

This past two weeks, those names couldn't have been more fitting as I've been feeling like this for a while---------->

I feel a little better now, but I'm still like this------>




sometimes, being 'sunny' is just too much work. to quote one of my favorite music artists ( jessie j...look her up on youtube sometime, she's awesome)  "it's okay not to be okay".........and right now, I'm just not okay. but....I will be.


xoxo's
your leader

ps: a HUGE "thank you" to Bea, you know what for and how much you mean to me.

Kim Kardashian: Destroying Marriage, One Business Deal at a Time

 Before you starting reading this, be fair warned that this is me ranting. I was in a very dark and emotionally delicate state of mind when I wrote this so....the writing is angry. Try not to be offended by what you read, just give my perspective and my point a chance...please.

Those of you who follow celebrity gossip are probably aware of Kim Kardashian’s resent marriage and then divorce, not but 72 days after being married. For those of you who have far more important things to do with your life then follow the on-going’s of a spoiled rich princess; allow me to fill you in. Kim Kardashian is a socialite and is best known for her reality television show Keeping up with the Kardashians. The show is basically all the trials and tribulations she and her family ‘suffer through’ and all the while we sit there in shock that 1. such a family even exists and 2. that the biggest problems they have are mother/daughter fights that last till the next episode. In essence, it’s the most unless, brain-cell sucking, ridiculous bullocks to watch.   

            I don’t typically follow celebrity gossip, I consider myself above all that nonsense and pay it no mind, so some of you might be wondering then how I’m even aware of Miss Kardashian and all her ‘problems’. Well, it’s kind of hard to avoid her when the gym plays her silly show and her face is splashed across multiple magazine covers. I’ll glance up at the t.v. screen every few minutes and roll my eyes as Kim whines about her latest ‘issue’ or in my peripheral vision I’ll see a headline involving her and some new drama. But as I stated, I don’t pay it much mind. However, sometimes celebrities do something or say something they shouldn’t, and then they briefly grab my attention. Kim has caught my attention and her behavior has sent me into a right rage.

            As previously mentioned, Kim got married and then 72 days latter filed for divorce. Allow a brief pause for that to fully sink in…..72 days of marriage and then she ended it. When I first laid my eyes on the image of her wedding I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the wedding was fake, it was nothing more than a publicity stunt to draw attention to herself ( again) and the whole thing was one big fat lie. That aggravated me, yes, but then to end it after barely 3 months of marriage is sickening to me. There’s a war going on over marriage in this country everyone’s arguing over what the ‘true’ definition of marriage is and who should be excluded from it. According to many, I should be excluded from it: simply for the reason that I want to marry another woman one day.

            Marriage was something I never gave much thought to until suddenly the arguments over it finally reached my ears and my comprehension. When I was coming to terms with being gay I didn’t think about grown up things like marriage, I was more interested in how to tell my folks and how to avoid my classmates from discovering that I was ‘different’. My understanding of gay rights and the gay liberation movement is almost completely self taught, it’s not like any school I’ve ever attended had loads of access to it and I didn’t have enough courage to ask around so I did my own digging to find stuff. Thank God the internet was fairly developed by the time I was 13, because without it I would’ve felt utterly alone. I began to read countless articles on all kinds of ‘gay’ issues, everything from whether gay school teachers should be allowed to teach to coming out. The question of marriage didn’t interest me until my own parents got a divorce and that got my attention.

           

            The divorce was surprisingly clean and relatively easy as divorces go, it wasn’t painless but it didn’t destroy our family or leave us broken. With time, patience and determination we readjusted our lives a little and moved on. It was around this time that I started to question what exactly marriage meant, because from my young adolescent perspective it looked like something to avoid as it would only end in heartbreak and disaster. Then the outside world starting debating marriage and lots of people seemed to get very protective of what they perceived as the ‘right’ kind of marriage when people who weren’t straight wanted to have a wedding. I remembering reading an article on a gay couple that wanted a wedding and all the backlash that came along with their polite request, I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. The couple seemed perfectly normal to me and I couldn’t fathom how their union of love could ‘contaminate’ someone else’s marriage. Yet arguments sprang up all over the media of how the sanctity of marriage was at risk, of how allowing two people of the same sex to wed would destroy an ancient tradition and that to allow such an abomination to occur would surely bring the apocalypse. Well, as of yet no such horror has taken place and gay couples are still getting married. So….what exactly is the problem?

           

            My problem is that now that I’m into my adulthood, I’m starting to think more and more about the future. Normal questions of what to do after graduation and where do I want to live as well as will I ever find the ‘one’. It seems so funny that not long ago the idea of marriage made me role my eyes and now here I am, thinking about it more and more. I’m rather old fashioned in my view of love, I wish to be wooed and someday find someone who complements me and whom I can’t live without and then maybe, just maybe, have a wedding to celebrate my joy. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Sounds ‘normal’ right?  I think so too. But certain politicians and loud mouth religious leaders disagree; they tell me I’m not good enough, not normal enough, not human enough to have this experience. So, allow me to make this clear: I have no desire nor intention to destroy anything or anyone. I just want to share the same rights and privileges that everyone else has. I have a right to have joy, love and happiness and no one has the authority to tell me I don’t deserve these things.

            Kim Kardashians wedding has upset me this much for three reasons: 1. It was just for attention, for publicity and not love, 2. Not only was it fake but it counted, despite the fact it only lasted 72 days and 3. She has abused one of the most basic rights that so many people want and are denied….that I am denied. It’s not fair that her frivolous 10 million dollar wedding actually counts as ‘real’ whereas something I want isn’t  even viewed as being worthy of carrying the same title.

             

           

Even though I know her ‘wedding’ wasn’t real and that it was done just to get attention, the fact remains that her fake wedding counted. As in recognized by her state and country and no one says a word about her clearly abusing a system that most people hold very dear. It’s almost funny, in a completely ironic and painful sort of way, that my future wedding will be real but not recognized. That people will actually look at me and my partner and claim that we’re ‘destroying the sanctity of marriage’ rather than look at someone like her who actually is. It’s funny to me that I take marriage just as seriously as all the evangelicals who claim I’m not worthy enough to have a wedding. I believe in protecting marriage too; from people like her. Kim’s wedding should not count, because it wasn’t real or sincere to begin with, it was a media stunt and the fact that that counts over something I want someday, makes me ill. The gays aren’t destroying marriage, straight people seem to be doing a fine job all by themselves.

  

Thanks for giving me this opportunity.
Cheers to all my wicked lovelies,
xoxoxo's
your leader

college

For the most part I've been satisfied by my college experience. I've received a good education, met some fantastic people and had my perspectives broadened....so all in all, it's been a good experience. And naturally college is a heaven in comparison to high school ( at least in my experience. Asheville high can burn in hell as far as I'm concerned)

But, there are a few things about college that really rub me the wrong way:

1. disrespectful roommates ~ it's not like I'm not used to sharing a bedroom, because I have before, so I know how to share a space and be (mostly) respectful of the other person's space and things. But while I've been here at Guilford I've had the worst luck imaginable with sharing a living space. my first roommate was the spawn of Satan ( I'm not kidding in that description) my second roommate turned out to be a secret sociopath ( again, I'm not kidding. I've done the research to back up this claim) and now one of the girls that shares my flat is selfish and inconsiderate. She turns up the heat over 70 (sometimes into the 80's) on a day when it's 65 out. She leaves her dishes in the sink for days on end, she leaves the lights on all night in the kitchen and she often forgets to lock the front door...thus leaving it unlocked all bloody night. It's a damn good thing I lock my bedroom door at night. I'm just curious where these completely incompetent and selfish people come from...and why the hell they're always stuck with me!!! College has forced me to become more independent and considerate of other people, its trained me to be almost Nazi-ish about keeping house. I'm sure my parents are dying of shock about this, but it's true. 

However, I have been blessed with two roommates were aren't evil bitches: you know who you are and I'm grateful to you for being awesome. 

2. Noise~ this drives me crazy. When I lived in the freshmen dorm the noise was almost unbearable. The doors to everyone room were very heavy so unless you were mindful when shutting them they would slam....this happened constantly. People running in the hallways at all hours of the night.....seriously?! I wonder if college temporarily turns students into vampires because those kids were far more active at night in the wee hours of the morning than during the day. Interestingly enough....the noise level went down considerably when I moved into the all female dorm. I enjoyed quiet peaceful evenings for two years. Now I live in Hodgins, the nice new apartments that feel miles away from the school.....and the noise has returned full blast. Last night for example, roughly around 3 am, someone or rather several someone's were literally thumping or perhaps humping upstairs, directly above my head. Often I'll hear people going up and down the stairs at all hours, loud laughing and music and the sound of breaking beer bottles. The RA's impose "quiet hours" on us during the last weeks of school for finals....I firmly believe those quiet hours should be in effect during all week nights. Seriously, people are studying or sleeping or whatever and no one needs to hear the loud conversation or the party going on next door or the thumping of someone's base. It's rude and selfish.

3. food~ college food is......well, there really isn't any nice way to describe it. It tastes like something Grandma Addams from the Addams family would cook and it sinks like a brick in your stomach. It also gives many people the runs after eating it. There should be a sign above the caf: eat at your own risk. Thank god my folks are happy to supply me with a food allowance because without that I'd be seriously overweight and miserable. Thanks mommies and dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. stress~ okay.....this can't really be helped, it's college and that territory comes with stress. I just don't like it. College has made me grey early, no seriously, I'm not kidding....I have 5 white hairs on my head as we speak.

there's a secret life to college and it certainly has its own culture, I just wish that culture had more control and consideration for others. We're not kids anymore and some of us really need to stop acting like they're 17. Just say'n. For those who don't act like total idiots: bless you and you have a far better chance of success and survival after you're graduated. Plus, you have my respect. 


cheers my wicked lovelies,
xoxoxo's
your leader

I thought this was really...special......

so, maybe I'm just evil or a twisted mo-fo but I thought this was hysterical:

this is a Mormon ( or as I refer to them: Moron's) family and I happen to firmly agree with statement below. This family has 14 kids......I'm surprised that this woman hasn't cut off her husbands penis yet.

The reason I was thinking about this was because one of the poets we read in British Literature today gave birth to 12 children, this was back in 18th century England so it's not that shocking......but these people are alive today and all I have to say is......something is seriously fucked up here!!!!

just thought I share the moron's with all my minions

cheers,
B

coffee @ starbucks: $5, human connection: priceless

Up until about 15 minutes ago my MLK day wasn't anything special. Yeah, I got the day off, which was lovely, but apart from that it was fairly boring and quiet. I've spent most of the day 'trying' to do homework, being bored and procrastinating. The biggest success I've had all day was cooking dinner for myself: goat cheese and pesto pasta with cherry tomatoes and olives ( it was a success by the way) and having a friend over to share my table with. Eating alone sucks, so I try and avoid it at all costs. 

The evening got progressively better after me and said friend went to Starbucks for "homework coffee" and I made a connection with 3 strangers.

I've been accused occasionally of being an attention whore ( no, those exact words were not used, but it was implied) and I'd just like to say......it's not true.

Yes, of course once and a while I want people to look at me, but who doesn't crave some attention now and then?! As far as I'm concerned, what differentiates between being an attention whore and just wanting to be noticed is how often it happens, what the persons motives are for doing it and what they're doing.

I do goofy things, a lot, there's no question about it, but I don't do it to say 'look at me, look at me....aren't I so special!' I'm goofy because that's my personality. I like to be playful because it's fun and if I make people laugh then that's just a bonus feature of said goofiness. I don't need people to look at me, I want them to look when I'm in the right mood, in the right place and at right time. Timing, mood and place are everything and if you get it wrong then you just look foolish ( which has happened to me a few times before I figured it out this precise formula)

so...the point: I was standing in line at the Starbucks and I started to sway/dance to the music they were playing. I wasn't even thinking about my actions, I was simply being me and 'me' loves dancing.....pretty much anywhere and anytime. There were 3 women ahead of me, they saw me dancing and joined me! It was fucking awesome. We were strangers to each other, but in that moment....it didn't matter. It was fun and silly and I felt great after it happened. I didn't intend for it to happen, I wasn't deliberately looking for others to look at me ( or join me for that matter) but that's what happened anyways. It was a precious experience, because people are so terrified to be anything outside the box for fear of ridicule....we need those moments of simply not giving a shit, to just be. 

So, when the dance ended and the coffee was paid for my friend turned to me and told me she admired me for my ability to do that....to just be and damn the consequences. It's the mostly flattering thing I've heard in a while. I've been told lots of things about who I am and my personality ( some of it good, some not) but rarely does it ever leave me feeling so loved. My friend loves me because I'm me.....I'm not a smoke and mirrors act, there's no woman behind the curtain or a secret door to the 'true' me......my realness is up front and personal. I won't apologize for being me nor will I try to conform to a more 'user friendly' version......

I like to dance ( often in public ) I like to be goofy and make others laugh and I'm quirky and odd, but I'm fucking proud of it. As far as I'm concerned life is too short to be dull. There is nothing more tedious than dullness; rots the brain and irritates my attention span. If you don't like what I present or who I am or what I hold dear than you can kiss my ass.

In conclusion: dancing at Starbucks with random strangers is awesome, dancing in general feels good and pesto goat-cheese pasta with cherry tomatoes and olives is a fucking awesome combination.

cheers my wicked lovelies,

B

ps: one of the most important lessons anyone can learn is to be true to themselves, especially when others ask you to change who you are or tell you, you aren't good enough. FUCK THEM: nothing is worse than being fake and living a lie....because that's torture to your soul and the essence of what makes you you

meet my daemon

Rajah~

            The best term to describe him is ‘ugly beautiful’; despite being worn and tattered there’s still something oddly perfect about him. His floppy body fits perfectly under the crook of my arms and in the curve of my hip.  His synthetic fur is a gnarled mess yet surprisingly soft to the touch. I remember seeing the Disney movie Aladdin and being thoroughly jealous that Princess Jasmine had a pet tiger, I wanted one desperately, though unfortunately for me the endangered species list made that a real challenge. However, the perfect solution was to get me the next best thing, a stuff toy that soon became one of my most prized possessions.

            The once rich orange of his fur has faded to a dull golden yellow, the charcoal of his stripes are now closer to brown and his right eye has a dog-shaped tooth mark through it. Yes, Rajah, my beloved jungle cat, is tired looking and due to the way his right eye sags it give him the expression of being highly skeptical, yet, he is beautiful. Even the gash in his side where white fluff peeks through makes him loveable and cuddly. How is it that a beat up, old raggedy stuffed tiger is worth more to me than all my other possessions? Because unlike my computer or my favorite shirt, Rajah is a part of me: he is the innocence of my childhood and the sweet memories of being young and carefree. Rajah is just as much a part of my identity as my name.

            His green plastic eyes are strangely soulful and gentle, his head is bent downwards slightly as though begging to be pet and his whiskers are gone from me pulling on them and a certain canine from chewing on him. He smells of sleep and lavender laundry sheets, I’ll rub my nose into the fur of his neck and stroke his back almost as though he’s real and a sense of calm washes over me. Rajah is a boy, it might seem odd giving a stuffed animal, a mere toy a sex, but since the day he arrived into my life I knew he was a male. Perhaps this was from my desire to be Princess Jasmine and to have a pet that guarded me with fierce loyalty and because maleness is associated with being protective ( especially over femaleness): thus Rajah is male.       

                Rajah has spent years chasing away the nightmares and soothing the tears, he has been dragged through dirt and rain and stuffed haphazardly into washing machines and placed with loving care into my arms, he’s a true survivor of my rambunctious self and I’m lucky he’s ‘lived’ this long. He’s there for me at night and first thing in the morning and I feel no silliness for being so glad to see him after a brutal day or getting a burst of comfort during a sleepless night. Rajah is old and worn and falling apart, he’s a bridge to my younger self and he’s a true treasure, a real jewel to me, because despite the fact there’s no real value to him I’ve given him value and through that he’s priceless.

for those of you who don't get the "daemon" reference it's from His Dark Materials ( The Golden Compass Trilogy) and people in that world have their souls, the very essence of what/who they are, walking along side them in animal form. They refer to their souls as "daemons" and Rajah is mine. I've loved tigers before I even knew what they were, so there ya go. 

 

back at school...and totally freaking out

As the title suggests, I have indeed returned to school and am trying to remain calm. This is my last semester....let that sink in for a minute....MY LAST SEMESTER. As in, when this semester is done I'll be a graduate of Guilford College. 

Christ, where does the time go??? I can still remember what it felt like when my parents dropped me off the first day, bloody terrifying! But I survived, amazingly. Logically I know I'll survive this last semester, regardless of how packed my schedule is or how I'm wondering how the hell I'm gonna make all this shit work, I know it'll be fine. Not like I've got a choice really. 

I got back around noon-ish on Saturday and I passed out after sort-of unpacking ( tossing everything on the floor lol) and when I woke up I thought 'well, shit...this is finally real now'. And indeed this is real, it's real that I'm an adult and that my life is really finally happening. 

So, here's my advice to all of the college graduates to be: breathe. We're all in the same boat of 'what's next?' and trying our best not to fall to pieces. but here's a true fact; we're gonna be fine. of course we will be, the alternative is to not be fine and what's the sense in that? So I say this to myself as well as to anyone out there reading this....we will be okay. We're going to graduate, we're going to get jobs, find our own places to live ( by ourselves or with roommates) and we're going to survive. We'll be fine. 

Okay, the pep talk is over. I'm trying to comfort you as much as myself here. 

The next post won't be this sappy and lame I promise.  

Take a deep breath, it's all going to be okay.

I'll be posting stuff that hopefully more interesting and fun shortly.

cheers,

B

Happy New Year 2012

Hiya Everyone! 

So, yeah....this is the first time I've ever done this ( had a blog, that is) so please be patient with me as I learn all the in's and out's of this blogging business. I'm not the most techno savvy person, when something goes wrong with my computer I'm ready with the white flag of surrender lol! 

This blog is going to be exactly as the title suggests; conversations with me about all kinds of things. Whenever I need to get something out'a my head, this is the first place it'll probably end up. 

I've been told that I've got a very strong 'voice' in my writing, hopefully for those of you who decide to follow this blog will discover how very true that is lol! I'm not meant to sit back silent and be told to sit still, I've got a brain and opinions and I intend to express them. I encourage people to leave comments and talk with not just me but anyone who leaves a comment. I want this to be a place of communication and thoughts bouncing around.

I have to warn you.... I have a tendency to rant when I get pissed off ( which is a lot actually lol) so if you find what I'm writing about is too abrasive then my apologies. So, although this first entry isn't particularly exciting in its content, think of it as a starting point for some great ( fingers crossed) entries and discussions to come. This my friends, is just the beginning.

Thanks for your attention, I'll be posting shortly.

cheers,

Bennie